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THE INCREDIBLE SULK
THE INCREDIBLE SULK Below is an extract of a letter sent to Annie’s Mailbox, a web-based agony aunt: Dear Annie My husband and I have been married for 16 years. Over the years, my sex drive has waned because of stress, age, work, , etc. I try to make an effort to be intimate every week. But, Annie, sometimes I just don't feel like having sex. Rather than trying to ‘woo’ me just a little, or even initiate sex when we have quiet time and our aren't likely to walk in, my husband sits and sulks until I make the first move. He does this every single time. During one particularly stressful summer, I didn't make any moves, and he ignored me for two months. He later admitted that he was just waiting to see how long it would take me to ask for sex. Incredible, that’s one long sulk! According to The Book of Life, people "didn’t sulk much before 1800 - because they didn’t have high expectations of being understood deeply, and intuitively, by others." It claims that it was the Romantic Period, from the late eighteenth century onwards, prompting people to explore their feelings and embrace love, which paved the way for people to sulk in relationships. Blame Coleridge, Shelley and Wordsworth for the outbreak of sulking! "At heart", observes The Book of Life, "sulking appears to combine intense anger with an intense desire not to communicate what one is angry about. One both desperately needs to be understood and yet is utterly committed to not explaining oneself plainly. Having to explain oneself is indeed the central problem: if our partner requires an explanation, then this is proof they are not worthy of having anything explained to them. Which brings one to the odd privilege of being the recipient of a sulk: one only gets into a sulk with people whom one feels should understand, that is, people one respects. It is one of the stranger gifts of love." I’ve never seen sulking as a back-handed compliment until I read this. A boudoir is a room traditionally used by women for sleeping, dressing, resting, relaxing and entertaining. The word is a late eighteenth century French term meaning 'sulking place'. I’ve never been invited into a woman’s boudoir! Above is Karoly Teuchert's painting, In the Boudoir. When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? Have you ever sulked when refused sex? I don’t sulk … much. My last sulk was about ten years ago when someone publicly criticised me at work. I secretly stormed out of the meeting and remained in my office for over an hour. That taught him not to criticise me, or so I thought at the time! Sulking is quite an absurd and usually futile gesture. On a few occasions I have sulked after being refused sex; my sulking never led to sex! Quite the reverse; once my sulking led to me being dumped there and then! Lesson quickly learned! |
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Since I got above about the fifth grade, I've always seen sulking as immature and a waste of time as it doesn't really make sense why not just say what is bothering you or forget it. Vive La Difference
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The only times I have refused sex is when I hear that voice in the back of my head... "danger Will Robinson". That's when I do different "S" word. Sprint Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? I do not recall sulking. If something pisses me off, I make it abundantly and directly clear what is bothering me,. Of course the result varies greatly Have you ever sulked when refused sex? Not at all, if refused, I leave . I don't waste a lot of time
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2 be honest I can remember when I sulk last. All I know is it sucks 2 sulk.
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? I have sulked, but I'm more of a swear and throw shit kind of a guy. Almost all I ever throw is a fit, but I have bounced a few tools after skinning my knuckles. As my wife has noticed, I rant and rave a lot, and I talk to traffic even though traffic can't hear me, but when I'm really mad I get quiet. It isn't sulking. I just think it's dumb to lose your temper and say things you'll later regret and can never apologize for. Most people I'm angry with are not left in any doubt that I'm angry, or what it's all about, Alfie. Have you ever sulked when refused sex? I reckon I have, but I've got over it quickly. Better to go rub one out and make my own sandwich. Having to fuck a woman just to get that sandwich is really a lot of work, especially at my age. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? I do not recall sulking. If something pisses me off, I make it abundantly and directly clear what is bothering me,. Of course the result varies greatly Have you ever sulked when refused sex? Not at all, if refused, I leave . I don't waste a lot of time Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I don't think I'll tell... Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? I do not recall sulking. Have you ever sulked when refused sex? I am out of there very quickly. Great post Spunky hugsssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Great post. Really made me think about the ways that communication have evolved recently. I only sulk until I realize that it isn't getting me anywhere and doesn't feel all that good. Read my diary Journal of a Taxi Driver for taxi stories and pictures of flowers and trees.
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? It was a long time...young and dumb. It was with my ex wife while we were married. She was depressed and she was not into sex. I sulked. But, I learned later she had major depression. I have learned not to sulk. We all need to be more compassionate and understanding. Sometimes it is not about us. It only took my getting a divorce and some counseling to figure this out! Have you ever sulked when refused sex? See above “Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh Come and read my blog! Become a watcher! veryfunnycple64
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? I was 6 or 7 and my parents refused to give me a puppy for my birthday. Have you ever sulked when refused sex? Sulking's counterproductive. Visit my blog It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World of NaughtyInSO, leave a comment, become a watcher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIVE AND LET LIVE Be happy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I refuse to answer these questions on the grounds I might get in trouble!
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I think most people work out as children that sulking just doesn't work. Just like they find out that lying usually gets you in more trouble. Doesn't stop adults from doing it, but I doubt that anyone thinks it's productive. I don't have the stamina for sulking, and I'm too easily distracted. If I did decide to give someone the silent treatment they probably wouldn't notice
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I had a small sulk last week. I don't sulk often but if I am upset about something, I sulk until I work it out...usually a few hours tops.
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I'm sulking but it's nothing to do with a relationship. It happened when I heard the sad news about Bowie
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Well you learn something new every day,
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I never sulk...if I am annoyed with someone I blow my top....say what I need to say and then calm down! ~~Anais Nin~~
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sometimes I sulk... it goes fast... My blog is open to you! Fatgirl1976 My new blog post SOMOS CAMPEES WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS visit and share your opinion!
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Since I got above about the fifth grade, I've always seen sulking as immature and a waste of time as it doesn't really make sense why not just say what is bothering you or forget it.
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The only times I have refused sex is when I hear that voice in the back of my head... "danger Will Robinson". That's when I do different "S" word. Sprint
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? I do not recall sulking. If something pisses me off, I make it abundantly and directly clear what is bothering me,. Of course the result varies greatly Have you ever sulked when refused sex? Not at all, if refused, I leave . I don't waste a lot of time
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2 be honest I can remember when I sulk last. All I know is it sucks 2 sulk.
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I don't think I'll tell... I bet you are a sulker!
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? I have sulked, but I'm more of a swear and throw shit kind of a guy. Almost all I ever throw is a fit, but I have bounced a few tools after skinning my knuckles. As my wife has noticed, I rant and rave a lot, and I talk to traffic even though traffic can't hear me, but when I'm really mad I get quiet. It isn't sulking. I just think it's dumb to lose your temper and say things you'll later regret and can never apologize for. Most people I'm angry with are not left in any doubt that I'm angry, or what it's all about, Alfie. Have you ever sulked when refused sex? I reckon I have, but I've got over it quickly. Better to go rub one out and make my own sandwich. Having to fuck a woman just to get that sandwich is really a lot of work, especially at my age.
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When was your last sulk? And what was the sulk about? I do not recall sulking. Have you ever sulked when refused sex? I am out of there very quickly. Great post Spunky hugsssssssssss V
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