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| Blogs > greeneyz36 > Random Thoughts |
Boring Sex
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Boring Sex Why is it that when you reach a certain point in any relationship/marriage that things just don't do it for ya anymore? Where does the spark and chemistry go? I have been with my husband for 15 years and married for 12, but my god he just doesn't do it for me anymore. What happens? Is it boredom, grown apart, or simply want more? In my house sex is take your own clothes off, have sex (no foreplay) clean up, and go to bed!! There is not touching, kissing, or the extra stuff! See now let me clarify..... I can get sex 5 times a day if I want it..... I cant even bend over in my kitchen to pick something up without getting fondled, but the sex is just not good. It is missing the substance. I love my husband dearly, but i gotta get some better sex!!! Is that so much to ask??? I'd love to hear your thoughts! |
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9/9/2010 5:52 pm |
No foreplay? No touching, kissing? That's not sex. That's just plain fucking.
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9/9/2010 6:42 pm |
the grass is greener on the other side??? variety the spice of life??? as a man I have no business even discussing that subject. I know I like my own story, "born with a extra dose of likes to fuck" "Screw" "fornicate". I've tasted the forbidden fruit and like it and am willing to cross that line again. My weakness is not jealous of your boat house job or car. i don't want money anymore than I neeed for food shelter clothing....Lust is my weakness. It's not mean. Sex feels good by design and why the sexual attraction disappears... well it sux and truly believe that it is not because of a lack of loving and devotion, ... Well maybe we are just genetically predisposed. I'd like to run my hands through your hair, is thre something weird or wrong with that???? Great post.
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9/10/2010 4:51 am |
Hi greeneyz sounds like ya need to put some fun back into it. Here is some ideals baby take the sex out of the bedroom. Ya know like do it in parking lots, dressing rooms at stores, parks just do it where ever ya can. Saying this no sex in the bedroom for a while. This would be fun and risky BECAUSE YA BOTH WILL NEED TO PLAN the events which mean foreplay will happen. Good luck sweety Sometimes it only takes a hug then other times just a little more 
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9/10/2010 5:03 am |
love to chat with you sometime
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9/11/2010 12:30 pm |
You say that there is no foreplay, but also that you bend over in the kitchen and he has to touch you. So there is not none, but not anythat you want, and there is no intimacy and passion both before and after? So what I am getting is that less you want more or better sex, but that you want the emotional intimacy that moves the physical act beyond the checklist (Check Yep, had sex today, Ahhh Next brush my teeth) and into the realm of something that you both think about for the whole day? And I assume that you have talked with him about it? Maybe there is not a lot you can do, he is who he is and you love him on one level, but on another he is not equipped emotionally to meet your needs. Things used to be good? Have you changed or has he? Growing apart is cliche' for a reason. It's Not the words you use; it's what they make you see
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10/8/2010 4:41 am |
Interesting..as I find myself asking the VERY same question as you. What have you discovered?
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Hummmmm....that is quite a difficult question to answer. Perhaps watching him turn on another woman or watching his face while you are being fucked by another guy might spark something again. 15 years of sex with the same partner is just to easy and "known" in a sense...like you know what it will feel like, what he will do, and perhaps it feels a little pre-programmed or rehearsed and it is not engaging your mind and senses anymore. Shake it up a bit. Toss in a little on the side and you might learn some new things you want to try with your partner again.
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10/22/2010 8:49 am |
I do understand the question oh so much. ie I am on bbwnsa.com looking for the sexual spark. I do think it starts between the ears, lack of imagination on both part. I also think to get the spark back have to talk to each other, thats the catch how to talk about it with out hurting feelings or telling fantasy and fearing he/she will look at you like a freak. That is just my thoughts, would like to know female point of view?
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10/30/2010 11:10 am |
Here are my thoughts. Its easy to know something is missing but difficult to know what it might be or how to find or replace it. It is far to easy for life and sex to become routine. Simply doing what you have done before because it is what you have done before. There is a definite difference between sex and passion. A man can easily fall into a routine of sex just to satisfy the immediate need. Passion for life is a game for two played every second of every day that requires imagination and a desire to please and be pleased.
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10/31/2010 2:24 pm |
How bad would you like to get better sex? I was in the same scenario until I left years ago...I'm much happier I did. Having the same ole same sex is like eating at your favorite restaurant everyday. What does your fantasy tell you? Is it within reason? Then go get sum...I live in Levis Commons...
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Well, Its so simple matter,,, Bcos,you have become husband'thing as material. She is my wife. She is mine. He has possessed you as his thing. So he can fuck you whenever he want,and there is no excitement ,,no adventure in it. You have become a toy for him to ejaculation. Or I would say that you have become his right hand,(using for masturbation.) That is our human desire which never fulfilled. We get excitement the moment when we got it!!!! But once it has become our possession, we loose interested any more. I have heard a story about a husband who has became impotents So he was looking for the good medical treatment bcos his wife was so much upset with him everyday. After he tried many medical treatment from many hospitals,,nothing happend with his impotent,his friend told him that there is a sage in the woods,so he visited the sage on day. The sage after the sage heard about his problem,The sage tought him a mantra,( which you chanting simple word many times) and the sage told him that you go back to your place and chanting the mantra every day,,but never tell any body about the words bcos it is seacret . The husband promised to keep the mantra words and came back to the sage after a week. The husband was so happy and reported about what has happened with his cock. His cock got erected so hard,and his impotent was cured completely. His wife was so happy. One day,one of his friend asked the husband,,what the words that the sage taught you ? The husband answered that "She is not my wife" 
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11/2/2010 5:57 pm |
as life becomes more complicated wild sex and sensual sex become to time consuming to attempt its sad but true id suggest the next time you get fondled in the kitchen other sex right then and there make sex more spur of the moment and wild and i think the sensual sex will follow shortly after naturally change stuff up do stuff you normally wouldnt do do what is nessary to keep the spark alive its natural for the sex to diminish a little but attempting to keep it hot as long as possible by trying new things helps
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2/9/2011 11:54 am |
I personally am a foreplay person. I love exploring each other and kissing. Tell your husband you want foreplay I'm sure he'll accompany you
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try useing toys in bed or trying new ways to have sex we get crazy at times in bed and have to sleep in the living room never a boring time here...... unless family is spending the night
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I understand your situation...from both sides. Remember that some guys are fast learners....we figure out what it takes to get sex, and then don't deviate from that successful behavior. Let me ask..have you ever said no to a particular sex act? When a woman tells me not to do something, it goes off the list. If she says no to enough things, boredom is inevitable. Have you challenged him to be original? What are HIS fantasies? Do you know? I bet he has some that you don't know about, and that he figures it would be useless to bring up.
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7/22/2011 1:35 pm |
It takes 2 and communcation i know it sounds lame but the brain being the main sex orgin needs stimulation and that starts with talking
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been married twice and i must agree the spark dies. no heart beat anymore boring routine no excitement no lust just a must to do. i got divorced and now i can start feeling and enjoying again. passion is what we need and in marriage its dead. do what you feel what you need when you need forget the rest.
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thats the mystery!
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1/25/2012 11:09 am |
hi greeneyzes--had the saame situation after many years of marriage--people seem to drift if they don't truely work on making it sensual. I personally think two people can "crush" on each other for life and that it won't be missing that excitement--but i haven't found that yet--buty i do believe its out there. Bottom line is human nature allows for people to take each other for granted---i just know if i find the right person---i will do all i can to keep the sexual passion--but both people need that same mind set
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honesty is a turn on for me. Is not too much to ask if you find the right connection and someone to respect your desires.
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I don't believe in swinging. Discuss your desire with your man. Tell him he should try more to make love with you and not sex. Some men don't get the difference. Just exhaust your options and see where that takes you....
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I understand your frustration, although my wife and I have never had the kind of foreplay-free sex you describe. In our case it's a lack of desire amd emthusiasm on her part. To be fair, she has gone through "the change," and that has made her physical reactions less pronounced, but I still love her and would like us to be more active, but she just doesn't seem to care about it anymore. This has been on-going for about 20 years now, and I have had some success in finding other women to satisfy my needs, even though I wish I didn't have to do so. The one thing I know is that I am a good lover, because of the reactions of my partners and their desire to be with me whenever possible. I also know from conversations with friends that your and my situations are not uncommon. But I also know that many other couples remain sexually active and enthused even well beyond my age. I don't have any solution for either of us. I thought it might help you to know your case isn't all that unusual. HermansBoy
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1 post 7/5/2013 3:56 pm |
Married 21 years. Together for 25. We met when she was 15 and I was 16. The past 15 years of it has been no kissing except the general peck. Our sex life consists of her asking "wanna do it?) Once a month after her monthly visitor. I no longer ask her due to the fact I'm tired of being turned down every time. We lay next to each other waiting for the other to make the first move. If I do she becomes ticklish and pushes me away so OK no touching her. I sleep in the nude so I'm ready. She will rub on my stomach for a wile. I'll ask how do u wanna do it B;ecause any position I pick hurts it seems. I have to wait for her to take off 2 layers of cloths but the shirt stays on. She always rides me till I get off then she's on her side of the bed before I'm done cumming. If it were up to me she would be nude and I would put her on her stomach and give her a massage and nibble on her neck and kiss and lick every inch ofher body and hopefully she would beg me to enter her any way I could. But no passion. No excitement no desire. Everything I want but will never find.
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Maybe , just maybe your looking for that something you have nit yet tried but secretly want. A 3some some variety or just have someone there to watch you and hubby, which adds that layer of excitement and /or danger. Maybe you want to be photographed by a stranger as you and hubby are getting it on. Do you and hubby have sex, say in the car or in public somewhere. I like your pics and would love to assist in helping you find what your looking for that excitement and thrills
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