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Blogs > CeriosEros > The life & times of Zero Mega |
Throwing away a unopened box of condoms again
Throwing away a unopened box of condoms again I know I've written about throwing away a unopened box of condoms before but it's about to happen for the third time but before I give the details let's answer some questions you probably have. Yes, condoms have a long self life. Around 6-10 years depending on when you buy. No, I am not going to make weird balloon<b> animals </font></b>with them after they expire. Of course I planned on using them when I first bought them. No, I don't enjoy wasting money. I don't know why I can't get laid. Yes, I thought about getting a but I always get a surge of self respect and think I'm attractive and charming enough to get a women in bed without paying for it and yes I'm always wrong. Okay, story time. Our tale begins days after I threw away my last unopened box of condoms. Seeing those little buggers in my trash motivated me to finally get the job done. So I doubled my efforts on this site, rejoined the hell on earth that is the online dating world and started going to places with lots of women like yoga studios, craft stores and I thought about going to dance classes but felt like a weirdo going by myself. I thought I was going to find at least woman who would find me charming or one who was just horny. I was 100% sure I would find at least one. It was just a matter of time. I had to be responsible so I bought a new box of condoms. Not just any condoms I bought the Rolls Royce of condoms. A brand called Okamoto crown. These things are have been ranked as the best latex condoms for nearly two decades. They're thin yet strong and anyone who has tried them swears by them. Yeah, that's how confident I was. I tried. I really did. But after a couple of months I knew that it was going to happen it was going to take longer than I thought. So I put the box away. Years go by and I realized that it's just not going to happen for me and I move on to just trying to get a but I keep chickening out or convincing myself that I can get someone to have sex with me for free and I forget about Okamoto crowns. Until last night. I'm looks everywhere for my old laptop and I find this bag and there they are. I look at the expiration date and they expire December of this year. I actually might be able to use one or two but the majority of these every amazing condoms are going to end up in the bin. Oh well. |
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Just like my mom used to always say. I'm not special but my condoms are.
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7/26/2018 4:48 am |
You're a good looking man so it's hard to believe you can't find some great ladies to enjoy those Cadillac condoms with you...
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7/26/2018 6:55 am |
I don't know man, maybe its your delivery. Need some new corny lines or such lol. Maybe you are too picky for just sex, could not tell you. Seriously though if your goal is to just get laid, are you not going to bars? You know karaoke nights or such? Just a suggestion.
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I've had to throw out condoms, too. I hope you're only buying 3-packs rather than a dozen at a time I've heard dance studios (ballroom dancing or folk dancing or whatever) are great for meeting people. But I wouldn't go unless you're genuinely interested in learning to dance. I think if someone is just going to activities to meet chicks it becomes obvious pretty fast. Just like if I started hanging out at fishing holes or bought a rifle to go hunting - lol.
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You're a good looking man so it's hard to believe you can't find some great ladies to enjoy those Cadillac condoms with you...
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I don't know man, maybe its your delivery. Need some new corny lines or such lol. Maybe you are too picky for just sex, could not tell you. Seriously though if your goal is to just get laid, are you not going to bars? You know karaoke nights or such? Just a suggestion.
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I've had to throw out condoms, too. I hope you're only buying 3-packs rather than a dozen at a time I've heard dance studios (ballroom dancing or folk dancing or whatever) are great for meeting people. But I wouldn't go unless you're genuinely interested in learning to dance. I think if someone is just going to activities to meet chicks it becomes obvious pretty fast. Just like if I started hanging out at fishing holes or bought a rifle to go hunting - lol.
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I know the rules. I'm a failure not stupid.
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